what i hate about dating is this conscious seeking of a relationship due to the belief that its the thing one is supposed to do… and soon. time is ticking all the time in the dating scene. time that has to be filled with someone else even if the two arent even entirely sure if its a life long thing. nevermind that its not deep, i dont think thats what people on tinder are searching for, people who seek out romantic partners – as in consciously go out on a consistent basis looking for one – arent looking for deep, they are looking for company, and perhaps, entertainment. im not for anybody’s entertainment.
were supposed to date because thats what people in this society do: people get in relationships and hang out with their friends, go to barbecues, go on double dates and watch football and stuff together. people drink beer or wine and talk about events and stuff.
its all so boring. i wanna hole up in a converted van with you. i wanna hole up in our study with the curtains closed surrounded by walls of books. i wanna hole up in the fortress we made out of blankets and random household items. i want to lay by a creek in the middle of a forest with you eating vegan sandwiches staring up at the canopy… after fucking and making love, and fucking and making love, and fucking and making love.
i think im in the wrong place or planet or something. i seriously cringe at the thought of attending these hypothetical easter barbecues. my god, i dont want to date to go to barbecues and look all perfect in pictures. i dont want to talk about insane parties from years ago.
what i seek is a [crazy] instantaneous recognition between two equally mad people who just jump right in, right then and there and promise to always be true, honest and dedicated to their dreams and goals, together. two people who deeply want to explore life, love and consciousness, hand and hand. i want that john and yoko.
except john lives. and lives for a long time. and i, yoko, get to cuddle with [my] john, until were both wrinkly, gray, and comfortably farting in each other’s presence.
…
dont tell me it doesnt exist, i know it does,
and its coming. fast.
its not just some stupid teenage fantasy, there is no reason why this type of connection cant exist. it already does. and dont tell me our closest relatives are chimps and bonobos and that they fuck any and everyone in their community to strengthen it and this type of connection i’m talking about is impossible because were all horny bastards with constant itchy groins who just want to get it scratched. fuck that. i’m more than the dna you can read, im a spirit and a soul you’ll never have the right words for.
if that’s ‘normal’ on this planet, then i’m the complete opposite of that and im not from here and i dont care what anybody has to say about me saying that.
…
all encompassing.
crazy.
true.
focused.
intense.
lasting,
timeless.
close.
so close.
loyal.
possessive.
fun.
calming.
safe.
Big.
Love.
What If True Love Is Real? 